Real Life Disney Princesses?

I LOVE Disney princesses and I always will. But some new realizations came to me recently.

Please don't get me wrong. I seriously LOVE Disney movies. This is just a different perspective aka devil's advocate.

If Disney were real life...

Jasmine--Aladdin

Jasmine teaches us that your political worth is reduced by your marriageability. And relationships with dirty street beggars are good. Her man Aladdin teaches us that men need to be charming, good looking, and appear to be rich and famous.

Snow White--Snow White

Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Hmmm... Another life lesson from Snow? At first it may seem terrible, being so beautiful that other women get jealous and try to kill you with poisoned fruit...but...once your beauty captures the eye of a man, he'll save you.

Mulan--Mulan

The only way this girl could be of any help was to disguise herself as a man.

Cinderella--Cinderella

Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to go to a party. She resigned herself to work under her evil stepmother's rule forever without taking any action to improve her living conditions. However, if you wish hard enough, a fairy god mother will eventually appear and make you fabulous. A prince will save you, not because you're a hard worker, but because you're gorgeous and you wear glass shoes.

Ariel--The Little Mermaid

Where to begin with this one?! Apparently making a deal with the devil (Ursula) is not all that bad... And getting what you truly desire (a man), requires you to give something up (your voice, etc.). And of course, you need to completely change your physical appearance in order to get the man.

Aurora--Sleeping Beauty

I guess you're supposed to marry the creeper who kisses you while you're sleeping... She didn't even have to be awake for a man to fall in love with her...just needed to be beautiful.

Belle--Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney princess movie--mainly because Belle reads...and then of course Lumiere & Cogsworth & little Chip (why did he not have a cut on his head when he became a human again??). But there are some massive red flags flying here Belle. First of all, the Beast LOCKED YOUR FATHER IN A BASEMENT!!!! And then he held you hostage! HELLO!!! Nothing says "I love you" like house arrest! Beauty and the Beast teaches us that even if you're abused all the time, if you love him enough, he'll change into a handsome prince with a rose for you...and a massive library.

And those are just the core princesses.

What about Simba taking back his territory through force and death in The Lion King?

And just ask Quasimodo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame if the ugly guy ever gets the girl...

Pinocchio is a liar.

Robin Hood stole for a living.

Tarzan walked around practically naked.

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This was news to me this week, but back in 2010, Disney announced that they are no longer making princess/fairy tale movies anymore because they "alienate male audiences," and little girls "no longer dream of becoming royalty."  

Tangled was its last. In fact, Tangled was SUPPOSED to be called Rapunzel Unbraided but in order to increase the audience, they changed the name and focused on a male hero. It is even evident in their marketing schemes. Just look at how little Rapunzel is actually in this trailer... And I think it worked. I know a lot of guys who love Tangled and will sing every word. My roommate and I even built a fort in our living room and invited a bunch of people over to watch...it was me, her, and three guys... Congratulations Disney, you captured the male population.

So there you have it, the literal lessons of Disney and its princesses. You can still really enjoy these movies...just don't think too hard about what the situations would actually be like...

I say yet again, I LOVE Disney princesses :) There are amazing lessons in them as well!

And to see just how much Disney has changed their focus a little bit with their newer princess movies (Princess & The Frog, Tangled, etc.) and applies more to modern girls, check out this awesome video Disney put out awhile back.